When I tell someone I'm a communication coach, they often ask me, "What can I do to walk into a room and not be so self-conscious?" I completely understand. It feels like everyone's eyes are on you as soon as you step through the door. It's natural to look up as someone comes in, but we're not passing harsh judgment on each other. Rather, we're trying to determine if we know that person, or if it's someone new to meet. We're also picking up on non-verbal cues like posture, facial expression, and eye contact. In other words, your body language speaks before you do.
When I talk about "open" body language, I'm referring to movements that signal approachability, confidence, and ease. It's why others feel more comfortable around you, making you appear more trustworthy and capable. We're instinctively drawn to people who walk in with their shoulders back, head lifted, and smiling. When you pay attention to your posture, your body tells your mind you are self-assured, letting everyone around you feel the same. On the other hand, closed body language,
crossed arms, hunched shoulders, or looking down can signal discomfort, disinterest, or defensiveness. We're signaling our nervousness to the group and making it harder to convince ourselves to relax.
Here's a quick checklist to keep your body language open and engaging from the moment you step in:
1. Stand Tall
Good posture sets the tone. Walk in with your shoulders back, spine straight, and head held high. Think of a string pulling from the top of your head—subtle, not stiff. You instantly appear more confident and in control.
2. Keep Your Hands Visible
We're hardwired to trust people when we can see their hands. Avoid keeping your hands in your pockets or clenching them tightly. Let them rest comfortably at your sides or use them naturally when you speak.
3. Make Eye Contact
Scan the room with a soft, interested gaze. If someone meets your eyes, smile—it's one of the easiest ways to convey friendliness. Just a few seconds of eye contact can build an instant connection.
4. Smile Genuinely
A genuine smile invites interaction. Even if you're anxious, smiling triggers a psychological response in your brain that helps reduce stress and makes others feel welcome in your presence.
5. Move with Purpose
When you walk into a room, do so with intention. Avoid rushing in or hesitating at the entrance. Find a spot where you can settle in, whether near the refreshment table, an open seat, or a standing group. You don't have to dive into conversation right away, but being physically present tells the group you want to engage.
6. Uncross Your Arms and Legs
Crossing arms or legs can create a barrier between you and others, even unintentionally. Keep your stance open—feet shoulder-width apart, arms relaxed—to project ease and availability.
Open body language is a skill like any other. You don't have to fake anything or become someone you're not. Instead, think of it as aligning your outer signals with your inner intention: to connect, communicate, and be seen for who you truly are.
The next time you enter a room, remember: you don't have to say a word to make a lasting first impression. Your body has already started the conversation.
If you're interested in learning more about "open" body language and how to connect with people quickly, please read my book, Rapid Rapport.
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