I got very upset the other day, ok it was an hour ago, and my husband said, "Just let it go." Yes, he actually said for me to let it go. I know there's a catchy tune that most of us hear now, thanks to the movie Frozen, but he doesn't do the polite thing and sing it. No. He thinks I should let it go and move on with my life. Well, that's not going to happen, now is it? Of course not. I'm mad, and I think it's a ridiculous thing to say to someone. In fact, (as I believe it's a fact, but I could be wrong), telling a person who's already upset something so flippant may as well ask me to calm down. Those endearments just ratches up the aggravation level to eleven. (That's Spinal Tap for you movie lovers). I know my wonderful husband means well, and he doesn't like to see me angry, but I've come to hate the phrase "Let it Go."
I believe we all carry burdens of regret, and we can't let the past keep us from moving forward. Yet, at the same time, our challenges and failures were lessons we needed to learn. Instead of pushing those memories out and feeling guilty when they sneak up on us, we may find embracing those past hurts may give us new perspectives we hadn't noticed before. Sometimes taking a look back may provide us with a better understanding of what's causing our frustration today.
Often an outburst is a release we need, and then we can face what's really bothering us. We could all use a moment where we can shout and stamp our feet without fear of judgment. A little tantrum can go a long way to expelling toxic feelings. I believe it's healthier to get it out of our system instead of locked inside until we get a headache or stomachache.
On the other hand, the process of releasing trauma and tragedy is complicated, and a professional therapist or psychologist would help guide us to find a way to heal. Many things are out of our control, and receiving quality care is key to our emotional and physical well-being. I believe most of us would benefit from having the opportunity to talk about our growing up and how those experiences shaped us. It's an invaluable insight into providing better-coping tools for our future selves.
We can look to the past to better understand who we are, but it doesn't mean we have to hold onto it so tight that we can't see how far we've come. The past will always be with us, but we don't have to let it weigh us down. It's a balancing act of not reliving old wounds and accepting that some scars will make an appearance now and again. If anything else, it should be what motivates us to help ourselves and each other succeed in making happier memories.
In my case, I'll 'Let it Go' after I've punched and slammed it to the ground. (I'm talking about my anger, not my caring, sweet husband.) There, I feel better already.