I'm trying not to push and pull on my life. I mean that I'm trying to keep myself from predicting the future. I believe we create our own luck, but there's still a part of my subconscious that panics about the thought of ending up living under a bridge. This concerns me because I do have friends. Why isn't anyone inviting me to live with them? Are we all homeless? Is there a bridge shortage? Great, I'm heading for that inevitable spiral down that dark hole of no return. I think this is funny because I can easily conjure up a doomsday scenario just as easily as seeing myself living an abundant life. Once I find myself picturing the end of days, I do my best to change that picture to a beautiful beach view, with me holding a tropical drink or two.
Worrying over the 'what ifs' in our lives is cause for undue stress, but by taking a moment to close our eyes and breathe deeply, we can use that time to recognize we're doing alright. If that doesn't do it, we can take a minute and remind ourselves of all the times we worried for nothing. For example, I had just moved into my new apartment in Miami, Florida, and a hurricane warning was issued. I went to the management office to get my storm-proof shutters only to find that the holes didn't match the ones on my windows. Unfortunately, I had no tools, and no one from the maintenance department would help. I didn't know who to call because everyone I knew was quickly boarding up their homes. Then, out of the blue, my friend Charlie called and asked me if I needed help. I explained the problem, and within the hour, he was at my place, drill in hand. Thanks to his kindness, my apartment survived the hurricane.
Over the years, I found people seem to come out of the woodwork to give counsel, listen or show up with support when I needed it the most. A couple of weeks ago, my good friend, Shedonne, drove from Brooklyn to Sparta, New Jersey, to take pictures and be part of the audience for the Authentic Voice workshop. She didn't hesitate when Michele and I asked for her assistance, and her participation and feedback were invaluable. It's a memory that will always make me smile because Shedonne's presence made me grateful to have her as a friend.
We can take steps to lessen our worries:
- Check your breathing. Shallow breathing from the chest causes more anxiety, so take deep breaths from the diaphragm.
- Meditation. It helps us focus and calms our minds.
- Gratitude. Think of a time when someone was there to give you a hand, and it made all the difference.
- Be aware of others. Helping someone with their concerns may end up helping us with ours.
- Be patient. The answers we're looking for may show up later today, tomorrow, or next year.
- Have a good laugh. Turn off the news and put on a comedy. It does wonders for our outlook.
- Exercise. Take a walk, enjoy the sunshine, and call a friend.
Life will always have its challenges, and the outcome may not be what we wanted or intended. However, being overwrought can keep us from believing that help is on the way or recognizing when we need to pick up the phone and ask for assistance. We're all facing day-to-day worries, but we need to remember to reach out when we feel the anxiety build up to a critical state. We have to be here for each other, so no one feels alone. All we can do is our best and trust that our family and friends will be there to console or celebrate with us, even if it's under a bridge.