I’m sitting with my friend, Michele, in an Irish Pub. We’re having a drink and talking about the different aspects of motivational speaking. We’re both working on putting out our research in hopes that our findings will help other people. We want to be different, yet we’re worried we’re not saying anything new.
The realization is not surprising to us. We know we’re not reinventing the wheel. Our passion for our projects stems from wanting to solve our own issues. We’ve both found, through our experiences, that our problems are not unique, but how we handle them is. It’s that perspective that we want to talk about. It’s the process of distilling our scientific findings into something that can be relatable that we both find overwhelming. We’re working together to help each other stay on track and motivated. We must admit that failing is a real fear and that we may never leave this bar.
Our conversation turned to the topic of people who want to help others by telling them all the pitfalls and hurdles that they went through to be successful. They promise they’ll teach you what to avoid and keep you from making the same mistakes. I know the information is to help others, but I believe everyone will experience setbacks and failures. I don’t think there is any way around it. It’s like trying to teach your children what you’ve learned, so they don’t make the same mistakes. But, ultimately, they will still have to learn it all for themselves.
I’m not saying there isn’t value in trying to help others succeed and keep them from making bad decisions. I think everyone has their journey. We have to face our challenges. I think that’s why after attending a rousing, energetic speech on being your best self, the energy seems to dissipate a few days later. We have to find our way of being our own pep squad.
It’s great to feel inspired, encouraged, and supported. It’s beautiful when you are in a like-minded group, and the excitement of endless possibilities is in the air. No one wants that feeling to leave. So how do you make it stay? How do you keep that level of enthusiasm going? What kind of Jedi mind tricks will work?
I realize that my road to success is what I make it. There isn’t a magic pill or seminar that’s going to do it for me. I’ve learned to employ different techniques to keep me on my path. I still find myself playing solitaire or wandering around the kitchen, deciding what comfort food will take up my time. I’ll then go back to my work and plug away.
One of the best things I do is sit and converse with myself. Living in my head leaves me feeling defeated. Talking out loud, I can pay closer attention to my feelings. I can then counter-argue and point out all my significant progress. I talk about my fears, procrastination, self-doubt, and all the same things everyone else does. So much for being unique.
I’ve also learned the importance of working with a friend. Michele and I will discuss what we’re struggling with, and we can give each other a new perspective on those issues. As I tell her how important her ideas are and that she is on the right track, she reminds me to do the same. When we bounce ideas off each other, we find those moments of epiphany come easier.
I believe we all need to feel validated in the work we choose to do. I know that we can all learn from each other and recognize we’re all trying to achieve fulfillment in our lives. Listening to someone who wants to motivate you to do that is incredible. Just remember that at the end of the day, we need to find that empowerment in ourselves. We’ll make mistakes. We’ll not be perfect, and we’ll feel like frauds. But, we’ll also learn about ourselves, challenge ourselves, and accomplish greatness. Or not. And that’s okay, too, because every step we take towards our goal is another reason to celebrate.
Whatever we do in this lifetime to help ourselves and the people around us makes life meaningful. Learning, growing, and being content are all worthwhile goals to attain. It’s nice to remember that we’re all in this together. But, of course, the best part is having a good friend to sit and talk to in an Irish Pub.
